That's intense
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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