It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
