She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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