she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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