Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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