thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize