I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
