i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
