First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
