Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
