Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
