I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
