things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm passing your future prison.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
