Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
