just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
