is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
