I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
