Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
try to milk me bitch
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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