You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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