I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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