Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
