I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
