that's an acceptable place to lick
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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