yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
