You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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