dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
