I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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