You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You're like the curious george of whores
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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