Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize