I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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