The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
