Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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