butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have demons in me.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
did you just send me my own nude
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
