we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
