Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
