It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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