Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
