I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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