my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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