Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
