So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize