did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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