Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
