they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
