Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
