You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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