hotel room ftw
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
