I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
did you just send me my own nude
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
