Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
