It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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