plz talk dirty to me
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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