Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
my being single is dangerous.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
