i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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