I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woke up backwards on a recliner
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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