His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
