you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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