we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
