Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize