My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
