it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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