why didn't you poke me back
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just googled if crying burns calories
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
