problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
