If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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