he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
