A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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