ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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