I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
