Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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