I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize